For you, everything is clear: only the weak ask for help. You rely only on yourself to manage all your problems, even those that are beyond you.
It is normal to think so because individualism (in every sense of the term) is a value advocated by our society. This is the perception of the strong and courageous man, that of the dominant male who has no flaws and who owes nothing to anyone.
It seems logical that you should apply this ideology of independence to your own life.
But who do you think will go the furthest:
The proud man who refuses to ask for help when he is unable to solve a problem alone or one who has the openness to ask for a helping hand and triumph over the insurmountable?
Having self-confidence is knowing your limits.
Yes, it pisses off not knowing how to do what all your colleagues do very well.
Yes, it’s depressing to realize that you now need help while you’ve been successful in solo until then.
Remember, Hollywood fools us with its idealistic and invincible representation of the heroes that are men.
In reality, it is never easy to fight an addiction. Nor to be harassed daily at work. It is even less so to admit your sexual troubles.
Let’s forget about our worries for a moment: now try to imagine yourself after having overcome your problem. Once this problem will no longer undermine your life.
Very good. To make this vision a reality, know that there is a very simple trick which consists in asking for help. Do it before the situation gets worse.
No, asking for help doesn’t make you weak, but a fighter who wants to be successful.
The limiting beliefs that keep you from asking for help:
The mental mechanism that keeps you from asking for help, are your limiting beliefs.
If you trust yourself, you are open-minded.
If you are open-minded, you will admit that yes, it is one or more of the limiting beliefs on this list that prevent you from asking for someone’s support
– You are afraid of appearing weak, of admitting your helplessness or your incompetence. You think you can do it solo and without assistance.
– You are afraid of being the fool who fails where everyone succeeds.
– Your pride, your ego takes over and prevents you from revealing your weaknesses in victim mode. The vulnerability? It’s not for you.
– You don’t want to feel indebted to someone who could reach out to you.
– You are apprehensive that the other person will not help you. Most of the time, you anticipate this “ no “, this rejection, before you have even made your request.
– You are afraid of disturbing. The others already have their concerns to deal with.
– You don’t want to worry about your loved ones.
If you are going through a critical situation (intense school harassment, violence, an addiction that ruins your life …) trying to manage it alone, you can lose control very quickly.
The real weakness is not recognizing its limits and its areas of incompetence. Beware of the poison of perfectionism.
Want to keep screwing up your life because of these put # ° £ limiting beliefs? No, then read the following carefully.
To get out of it, you must dare to ask for help
Certainly, you can feel uncomfortable by asking for help. Sociologist Marcel Mauss explains that it is perfectly normal to feel in a position of inferiority vis-à-vis the one who gives.
But read this quote carefully from Pablo Neruda: “ He who dies never lets himself be helped slowly “.
No one is strong enough to always do it alone. Here are some (vivid) examples of people who needed someone’s help at some point in their careers:
Emmanuel Macron deemed his speech unworthy of that of a president. He was coached by a former lyric singer to better assert himself and improve his communication.
Robert Downey Jr. (the actor who plays Iron Man) was a drug addict. He got away with it through a radical rehab. He is now one of the most bankable actors in Hollywood.
Mike Tyson was raped when he was a child. Under the tutelage of Cus d’Amato, his spiritual father, he will grow from a young delinquent to one of the best boxers of all time.
Getting help will not make you a weak man, but a future strong man.
By asking for a boost, you prove that you are strong enough to express your own needs and put an end to your worries.
To ask for a helping hand is to show the intelligence and strength of character because you know that you cannot do it alone.
It is certainly never easy to ask for help, but it is necessary and the older ones are helped and coached!
Outside help is often necessary to get better, to get your head out of the water and to breathe confidence in yourself again.
It is thanks to the support of others that you will become the boss again!
People are there for you
Would you leave your grandmother or your best friend in shit? No. Well, know that they would do the same with you.
Because yes, others will be happy to help you and no, they don’t spend their time judging you.
Also, rendering service would activate areas of the brain linked to the feeling of happiness.
By asking someone for help, here is what you make him understand:
– You recognize and highlight his skills: you ask him for a service because you know that he can be the man/woman of the situation. You feel it is up to the task.
– He’s someone useful because he will help you get out of your quagmire.
– You consider him to be someone you can trust: you are not going to ask someone you can’t trust for service.
As for therapists, they dedicate their lives to exercising a profession that consists of caring for people.
Do you think that these professionals will judge you and your beliefs when they rub shoulders with dozens of patients tortured every day?
Talking about it will allow you to better understand what makes you suffer and to find solutions because yes, asking for help is proof of self-confidence and open-mindedness.
Here are some contact details that may be useful to you:
– If you are the victim or parent of a student who is subjected to harassment at school, dial 3020.
– If you are addicted to alcohol, you can dial 0 980 980 930 or go directly to the site
– If you are addicted to another form of the drug, you can contact 0 800 23 13 13 or go on the site.
Your friends, family, colleagues, boss …
There are many potential helpers. It’s up to you to find the person who will be most able to help you, depending on the concern that makes you suffer.
And you? Do you have trouble asking for help?