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How to end a toxic friendship

You must know the adage: “We don’t choose our family, we choose our friends”.

Since you chose them, your friends are necessarily cool, they understand you, support you and are ready to do anything for you.

“Real” friendships boost our health (lower stress, higher morale) because you are having a great time with your bros and they are always very supportive when you are going through a delicate phase such as a breakup or the loss of a job.

But over time, some friendships do not always go in the right direction. The pleasant feelings you get from having a good friend can turn into stress and discomfort. Let me explain:

Your friend constantly belittles you or judges you? Are you having more bad times than good times in his presence?

Despite his undrinkable behavior that you do not endorse, you always end up sponging because after all, you are like brothers.

But the way he acts affects you negatively and the worst part is that your friend does not seem to be aware of the harm he inflicts on you. Never mind, you refuse to consider him a “toxic” buddy.

Except that between you, it is always him who decides everything without ever taking notice of your opinion. Also, he is susceptible to the least of your remarks.

If you realize that one or more of your friendships are only one way, the chances are high that these relationships are toxic to you.

Do you have to end a harmful friendship (no matter how strong) or let it destroy you slowly?

It is high time to learn to distinguish the signs of a toxic friendship to ask yourself the right questions and be able to put an end to these nightmarish relationships.

What is a toxic friendship?

The warning signs of a toxic friendship can be subtle, as explained by the site

Psychology Today.

Please note, falling out with a good friend does not mean that your friendship is toxic.

If they are not recurrent, the disputes represent a sign of dialogue and are proof that you seek to arrange things.

But if you feel tired, used and unfairly criticized by a friend, you must ask yourself

the right questions.

We speak of toxic friendship when a friend pretends to want only your happiness … But that he demeans you, criticizes you and generally makes you more bad than good.

Psychologist Camille Rochet talks about it very well in this video.

Remember his sentence: “most of the time, we don’t realize it!” ». It is “not knowing” that your relationship is a poison that makes it so harmful to you.

Love makes you blind, just like friendship. So here are the signs that should open your eyes:

Signs of a toxic friendship:

Your friend decides everything and you have to go in his sense to please him. You don’t have a choice anyway …

– He is susceptible and over-reacts for nothing. You fear to upset him every time you say something.

He demeans you and judges you: “Your new shoes are too ugly”, “She is a little stupid for your new girlfriend”, “You want to get a promotion? But you will never get there!

– After spending a while with him, you feel drained #vampirerelational.

– He’s always right and makes you feel guilty. It is never his fault but always yours.

He is selfish, always needs you but as soon as the situation turns, he flees.

Little psychological test…

When you tell him the good news that concerns you, observe his reaction:

Is he sincerely happy for you and is he interested in he tells you? Or does he quickly move on to something like someone who doesn’t care royally?

Or worse… like the girlfriends in Netflix’s You series, does your friend rejoice only in your misfortune?

#Schadenfreude: rejoicing in the misfortune of others. (It’s beautiful in German)

Why do we have to put an end to toxic friendships?

Like a romantic breakup, yes, it can be scary to confess to a longtime friend that it’s over between you.

But you have to think about yourself and your well-being.

The problem with toxic friendships is that they are not going to bring you anything positive, but make you suffer. It is for this reason that we must end them as quickly as possible.

If you want to waste time, money, and count on a person who has nothing to do with your happiness, you are free to believe in this friendship!

Perhaps you will even fall under his thumb like Joaquin Phoenix in the film The Master.

But this testimony of a woman upset because of what she considered her sister should convince you to finish with your tortuous friendships.

No, not all friendships are made to last.

Concrete cases: 3 toxic friendships which I put an end to

I stopped dating a girl with whom I was a friend, she wanted to go out with me, not me. She started pissing off the other girls around me and making up rumors about me and these girls. Jealousy and friendship don’t mix.

I also had to end a weird friendship where the girl treated one of my other friends in the group badly. Unable to me. She lacked mastery of social dynamics. An only child, she thought that others were at her service, were her toys. But we don’t harass my friends. No one humiliates my friends. Not in front of me. Not with my consent. I would always prefer to lose a bad friendship than not to defend my principles.

Finally, it took me a long time to break out of a toxic friendship where my friend used and paid me in business. I couldn’t see that he didn’t give a damn about me. Around me, I was told to be careful, but I found that they were exaggerating … It is hard to break a friendship as long as this, we tell ourselves that we want to remain loyal, we tell ourselves that we must make efforts … But my “friend” did none. I have no regrets that I no longer associate with this selfish person.

How to end a toxic friendship?

If some of your friendly relationships do not allow you to flourish, it is time to take stock.

Is it just the fact that you don’t get along with the person anymore? Or do you have things to clear up with her?

Going away by cutting the bridges is not always a good solution. Your friend has the right to go through a crisis, a bad time, or to suffer a painful loss.

If this is the case, he may need to speak, cry or change his mind to cope with this suffering.

In all cases, favor dialogue (even more if your friend is an integral part of your social circle). His reaction to your feelings will enlighten you on what to do:

– If he is willing to accept and make efforts, your friendship may be worth saving. In this case, be adamant about his behavior in the future and the changes he has promised to make.

– On the other hand, if he turns on you or tries to make you feel guilty: NEXT! Put an end to this false ass for which you represent absolutely nothing.

For your good, tell him it’s done between you. Clean up.

If someone makes you lose your self-confidence, they have nothing to do with your circle of friends.

As with break-ups, you have to know how to turn the page!

You must know the adage: “We don’t choose our family, we choose our friends”.

Since you chose them, your friends are necessarily cool, they understand you, support you and are ready to do anything for you.

“Real” friendships boost our health (lower stress, higher morale) because you are having a great time with your bros and they are always very supportive when you are going through a delicate phase such as a breakup or the loss of a job.

But over time, some friendships do not always go in the right direction. The pleasant feelings you get from having a good friend can turn into stress and discomfort. Let me explain:

Your friend constantly belittles you or judges you? Are you having more bad times than good times in his presence?

Despite his undrinkable behavior that you do not endorse, you always end up sponging because after all, you are like brothers.

But the way he acts affects you negatively and the worst part is that your friend does not seem to be aware of the harm he inflicts on you. Never mind, you refuse to consider him a “toxic” buddy.

Except that between you, it is always him who decides everything without ever taking notice of your opinion. Also, he is susceptible to the least of your remarks.

If you realize that one or more of your friendships are only one way, the chances are high that these relationships are toxic to you.

Do you have to end a harmful friendship (no matter how strong) or let it destroy you slowly?

It is high time to learn to distinguish the signs of a toxic friendship to ask yourself the right questions and be able to put an end to these nightmarish relationships.

What is a toxic friendship?

The warning signs of a toxic friendship can be subtle, as explained by the site

Psychology Today.

Please note, falling out with a good friend does not mean that your friendship is toxic.

If they are not recurrent, the disputes represent a sign of dialogue and are proof that you seek to arrange things.

But if you feel tired, used and unfairly criticized by a friend, you must ask yourself

the right questions.

We speak of toxic friendship when a friend pretends to want only your happiness … But that he demeans you, criticizes you and generally makes you more bad than good.

Psychologist Camille Rochet talks about it very well in this video.

Remember his sentence: “most of the time, we don’t realize it!” ». It is “not knowing” that your relationship is a poison that makes it so harmful to you.

Love makes you blind, just like friendship. So here are the signs that should open your eyes:

Signs of a toxic friendship:

Your friend decides everything and you have to go in his sense to please him. You don’t have a choice anyway …

– He is susceptible and over-reacts for nothing. You fear to upset him every time you say something.

He demeans you and judges you: “Your new shoes are too ugly”, “She is a little stupid for your new girlfriend”, “You want to get a promotion? But you will never get there!

– After spending a while with him, you feel drained #vampirerelational.

– He’s always right and makes you feel guilty. It is never his fault but always yours.

He is selfish, always needs you but as soon as the situation turns, he flees.

Little psychological test…

When you tell him the good news that concerns you, observe his reaction:

Is he sincerely happy for you and is he interested in he tells you? Or does he quickly move on to something like someone who doesn’t care royally?

Or worse… like the girlfriends in Netflix’s You series, does your friend rejoice only in your misfortune?

#Schadenfreude: rejoicing in the misfortune of others. (It’s beautiful in German)

Why do we have to put an end to toxic friendships?

Like a romantic breakup, yes, it can be scary to confess to a longtime friend that it’s over between you.

But you have to think about yourself and your well-being.

The problem with toxic friendships is that they are not going to bring you anything positive, but make you suffer. It is for this reason that we must end them as quickly as possible.

If you want to waste time, money, and count on a person who has nothing to do with your happiness, you are free to believe in this friendship!

Perhaps you will even fall under his thumb like Joaquin Phoenix in the film The Master.

But this testimony of a woman upset because of what she considered her sister should convince you to finish with your tortuous friendships.

No, not all friendships are made to last.

Concrete cases: 3 toxic friendships which I put an end to

I stopped dating a girl with whom I was a friend, she wanted to go out with me, not me. She started pissing off the other girls around me and making up rumors about me and these girls. Jealousy and friendship don’t mix.

I also had to end a weird friendship where the girl treated one of my other friends in the group badly. Unable to me. She lacked mastery of social dynamics. An only child, she thought that others were at her service, were her toys. But we don’t harass my friends. No one humiliates my friends. Not in front of me. Not with my consent. I would always prefer to lose a bad friendship than not to defend my principles.

Finally, it took me a long time to break out of a toxic friendship where my friend used and paid me in business. I couldn’t see that he didn’t give a damn about me. Around me, I was told to be careful, but I found that they were exaggerating … It is hard to break a friendship as long as this, we tell ourselves that we want to remain loyal, we tell ourselves that we must make efforts … But my “friend” did none. I have no regrets that I no longer associate with this selfish person.

How to end a toxic friendship?

If some of your friendly relationships do not allow you to flourish, it is time to take stock.

Is it just the fact that you don’t get along with the person anymore? Or do you have things to clear up with her?

Going away by cutting the bridges is not always a good solution. Your friend has the right to go through a crisis, a bad time, or to suffer a painful loss.

If this is the case, he may need to speak, cry or change his mind to cope with this suffering.

In all cases, favor dialogue (even more if your friend is an integral part of your social circle). His reaction to your feelings will enlighten you on what to do:

– If he is willing to accept and make efforts, your friendship may be worth saving. In this case, be adamant about his behavior in the future and the changes he has promised to make.

– On the other hand, if he turns on you or tries to make you feel guilty: NEXT! Put an end to this false ass for which you represent absolutely nothing.

For your good, tell him it’s done between you. Clean up.

If someone makes you lose your self-confidence, they have nothing to do with your circle of friends.

As with break-ups, you have to know how to turn the page!

And you, how do you manage your toxic friendships?And you, how do you manage your toxic friendships?

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