We all dream about this man who meets all our criteria for the perfect man… and oddly enough, very few seem to have found him. Either we all have the same criteria, and only one has stumbled upon this perfect man, or we’re looking in the wrong place. In any case, we keep hoping to meet him and to put all the chances on our side and spend the next Valentine’s Day in his company, we might as well set the record straight on how to meet this perfect man.
Forget about your list
To begin with, you have to stop dreaming: there is no such thing as perfection. It’s nice to make a complete and accurate list of all the qualities our perfect man should have, and his faults as well, so as not to be really disappointed… but it’s going to take courage to find that one. Or it’s going to take courage to find that one. Or it’s going to take making it up, the program to make it exactly the way you want it to be and not the other way around. But then again, that sounds complicated. Because you will always have to keep working on your character, as soon as he decides to take his independence and have his own personality. In short, the simplest thing to do is to face the obvious: the perfect man doesn’t exist. Finally, the perfect man that we imagine in our mind.
Because yes, you surely have one or more friends who found him, they stumbled upon him by chance and now everything seems to be running smoothly. But how did they do it? They probably started by burning the list of qualities, defects and tastes of the ideal man. Because, yes, having a precise list of criteria in your head means closing doors, missing out on relationships that could be very beautiful and being too sure of what you want. Are you sure your girlfriend Laure was dreaming of a musician before she met Thomas? Well, if it turns out she was more interested in a sportsman. But there you go, she’d left out the list she’d written to let herself be surprised. And apparently it worked out pretty well for her.
So maybe it’s time to do the same: it was nice to have a list in her head, but it would be a shame to stick to it. You meet a man you think you might like? Try to see him again even if you already know that he doesn’t fit perfectly into your description of the ideal man. Maybe it’s those little extras that will make him perfect in your eyes, even if it’s not what you had planned at first. Give yourself the opportunity to be surprised, that’s how you will meet the perfect man, your perfect man.
Stop waiting for him.
If you want to meet the perfect man too much, you only have one thing left for him and you directly zap every man who is a little too tall, a little too dark, not blond enough, too sporty, not poetic enough… In short, if you want to find him too much, you forget about the others and you don’t care about them at all. This is not necessarily the right technique: on the one hand, you deprive yourself of meetings with men who could very well suit you and with whom it could have worked, on the other hand, you pass for a cold and distant woman. Indeed, this personality trait can attract more than one man for whom it will be like a challenge to seduce you. But it can also be what will repel the perfect man you were waiting for. Perhaps in his list there was not “cold and distant woman” but rather “sociable woman who loves life and enjoys it”.
By expecting too much from a particular man, you risk losing your personality, losing your desire to reach out to others and no longer being the charming and attractive woman you used to be. Don’t fall into this trap, don’t lock yourself up waiting for a relationship. And above all, don’t make the search for the perfect man the sole objective of your life. Do not tell yourself that you will live a fulfilling life when you have found him, when you are with him. It is more than likely that you will meet a perfect man by enjoying your life, by going out, by living your passions, by going to a party because there is a nice man you like. Meeting the perfect man shouldn’t be your only goal.
So stop waiting for it, stop chasing after love, it’ll come at you when you’re not expecting it. On the contrary, go out with your friends, go boxing if you’ve always dreamed of it but never dared, go to the cinema or the theatre alone or with friends, go climbing when you feel like it… Live your life to the fullest even if you haven’t yet met the perfect man you’re waiting for. Don’t think that only he can allow you to live a full life. It’s up to you to fulfill yourself, this perfect man will simply allow you to be even happier than before. The perfect man must be a bonus to your happiness but not a means.
But that doesn’t mean you have to give up all initiative to meet your perfect man. One doesn’t exclude the other: you can enjoy your life and be happy while searching (reasonably and moderately) for the perfect man. To do this, you need to provoke the opportunities to meet. Don’t say no to an invitation: you have the right to want to stay quietly at home for one evening, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. It is possible that the man of your life will be the deliveryman who will come to your home, but the chances are slim. So get out: go out for drinks with your friends in the afternoon, don’t say no to parties and even when your friends stay at home, if you want to go out, don’t hesitate to go for a walk. You will always have the opportunity to chat with people and among them may be your perfect man.
If you are shy, you can always make things happen without leaving your home thanks to the dating sites and all the applications that are regularly created. Dating sites are the simplest: you sign up, chat with men and if you like one of them, you can meet him for real (in a public place after telling a friend) and see if it still matches or not. There are sites for all tastes: serious, funny, according to your affinities … You just don’t have to put all your hopes in it: you surely have friends who have never managed to find the perfect man through these sites, like others who have started the discussion with only one man, the right one. Anything is possible, but don’t see it as the ultimate solution.
And if it doesn’t work, you can always go and have a look at all the dating applications that are on the market. To have the best chance to meet a man with whom it can work, you might as well go on those that are known: there is everything, for sure, but also really interesting men … and maybe the man of your life.