We continue our series of articles on social circles and friendship, and today I have an important article that will no doubt help you take your social relationships to the next level. Let’s GO!
Meeting new friends may be a key step in improving your social life. The problem is that most people don’t do it right. This makes them spend a lot of time thinking about it, without really finding a final solution.
Facebook and social media make it worse by making you feel like you have friends, when 99% of these people aren’t really buddies.
The friends that count are the ones you meet in real life – except when they live far away and it’s impossible to see them. But when they live in your city and your ONLY contact is electronic, they’re not really friends.
Secret #1: Avoid Places That Are Too “Public”.
The biggest mistake you can make when it comes to making new friends is to think about going to places like bars or clubs. These kinds of places are great places to meet the friends you already have.
Friendship works in a way that you need a “context” to meet friends. You need to have something in common with someone before he or she becomes your friend.
That’s why you need to go to “semi-private” places. “These are local communities that come together to talk and share about something that interests everyone. It can range from DJ-ing to literature, depending on your interests.
Secret #2: Let’s Go, That’s How…
When it comes to meeting new people, don’t put pressure on yourself. This is not a job interview or a first date.
People don’t expect you to be Mr. or Mrs. FUNNY COOL. People expect you to be yourself, to listen to them, and have basic social skills.
So allow yourself to talk about “normal,” topics like your daily life, and maybe even the little frustrations or crap that happens to you.
This proves to people that you are authentic and that you are not showing a false face. The easiest way to detect a “FAKE,” is when someone is trying to show a “perfect” side of their life.
No life is perfect, and only assholes pretend to have one. 🙂
Be authentic, it will allow people to identify with you, and want to become your friends.
Secret #3: Stop making friends one by one, build a group quickly.
As soon as you start meeting people, introduce them to each other! This makes your presence more fruitful and interesting. It makes meetings more interesting and stimulating.
People tend to forget to call you when they want to go out, and this is very often because they don’t know you as part of a group.
When you start building a group, even of three or four friends, things become easier. People think about you when they want to go out, they think about bringing people back with them, and your circle expands.
Secret #4: Don’t Lose Touch
Most of the effort in social life is focused on calling, sending messages and keeping in touch with people.
But, to make it easier for you, there are two things you can do:
– Differentiate between your “large” and “small” social circle…
The friends you want to go out with should not be lumped in with the rest. When you have that distinction, it’s easy to focus on the most essential. For old friends and family members you see less often, you can keep in touch, but you don’t have to call them every week.
This is even more the case when it comes to Facebook contacts you don’t know well. If you have hundreds of them, it becomes impossible to know who to contact and who to leave for later. By focusing on your inner circle, you eliminate all the confusion.
– Enjoy the power of habit
I advise you to set a day in the week when you contact people. For example, you can dedicate Wednesday night to this. One hour of your time should be enough. This will reassure you during the week that you are not forgetting anyone and that you are in contact with the people who matter.
It is very important to keep in touch with people, especially at the beginning of a friendship.
Contacting people at the beginning of the week also allows you to make plans and invite people to join you, before the weekend arrives.
By doing so, people will be more likely to join you, since you offer them the opportunity to get out practically before everyone else in their social circle.
Don’t forget the power of group messaging (on WhatsApp or Facebook) to invite more than one person at a time. It makes it much easier 😉