Finding a girlfriend, a stable relationship, is by definition a life goal that you set for yourself, in the more or less long term. And if the “traditional” definition of a seducer can be understood by some as a will to test his power, nobody can imagine decently ending his life alone, without being able to share it with a companion making us happy every day.
However, as you probably know, the process of seduction does not stop because of an evolution of a person’s relational status. If you have a girlfriend, you will have to seduce her on a daily basis and avoid certain pitfalls that could lead you straight to the wall.
That’s the topic of today’s article: what are the behavioral mistakes to avoid once you’re in a relationship? How to remain yourself without denying the strength of the bond that can exist with another person?
NB: the “mistakes” discussed here are part of a nascent relationship that you want to strengthen. We will then leave aside the obvious, which remains useless to comment on. Yes, by cheating on your girlfriend, by getting into conflict with her family or by showing a flagrant lack of interest, you will break up your relationship… But you already know that, don’t you?
1. Change? But for what purpose?
This is necessarily the first question we ask ourselves at the dawn of a new love story. Intoxicated by the passion and the impression that nothing could be more beautiful than meeting a woman who matches our criteria and who herself seems to appreciate us strongly, we try to make efforts in a natural way, so as not to break the bond of trust that may emerge.
While this reflex is understandable and most certainly useful in highlighting a real mutual attraction, it can be harmful in the long run.
In the future, you will be reproached for being too kind, too attentive, too altruistic, if you do not manage to stay the course when the routine settles in the couple. “I didn’t know you like that”, “now I see your true nature” will then be part of the arguments that may lead you to doubt yourself and the solidity of your union.
Trying to please the other person is in no way negative in itself. Be careful, however, not to erase your personality and your desire for self-affirmation in favor of a story without waves, reassuring.
Contrary to what we tend to believe when we are in love, arguments and disagreements are not harmful phenomena. They are in fact guarantees of mutual construction and commitment, as they emphasize the notion of emotional independence.
How can we love someone who is always in agreement, ready to do anything for us, regardless of the consequences and implications? How can we react when that same person begins to show signs of independence?
The first mistake to avoid when you are in a relationship is to play a role, to consciously change your behavior so as not to disappoint the other person. Sooner or later, the deception will be discovered, and the damage can then be irreversible.
2. Isolation and refusal to socialize
Having a girlfriend is nice, but it shouldn’t make you want to “keep her all to yourself”. Refusing to introduce her to your friends, limiting your outings on your own, changing your hobbies in an outrageous way in order to encourage cocooning can create tensions, in that the relationship can seem “secret”, “not assumed”.
One of the most harmful choices for a couple would then be to bury themselves in a routine that excludes the notion of friendship, the outside world and interactions with the rest of the world. Jealousy and possessiveness are often the driving forces behind a material isolation of the couple.
Don’t be like that. Don’t let your relationship take precedence over the rest of your life. You would put too much pressure on your sweetheart and she would feel trapped.
A relationship that works is based on trust and fulfillment through diversification of activities. Meeting the family, discovering new affinities, taking an interest in each other’s hobbies… are therefore obligations when you are a couple.
3. Dominance and the notion of “right”.
Since a love relationship is made up of two people, it is essential that communication be at the center of the entity that takes root over time. Respecting and taking into account the expectations and psychological dispositions of the other are obviously on the menu.
Concretely, if the individual does not have to change radically at the time of his installation in love life, nothing prevents him from evolving, from understanding how a too great willingness to do what he wants and nothing but what he wants can be harmful.
So, no, you cannot consider yourself entitled to flirt openly with other women, to make all the decisions of the couple, to dictate your way of seeing things or to use lies and manipulation to achieve your ends.
The couple is a place for exchange, consultation and discussion. To do as they please is to show the other that their opinion does not count, that nothing can alter the relationship of domination thus revealed. The problem does not even lie in your ability to understand your partner… the trick is to at least try!
A love relationship is a more complex exchange than it seems.
What do you think are the biggest mistakes to avoid? How do you do it? Your feedback is as always expected! See you soon!